Monday, November 12, 2012

Cascadia: Not so batshit crazy ?

The insane NZ right wing are talking up the Daily Caller report

White House website deluged with 

secession petitions from 20 states

How would Old Glory look with 30 stars instead of 50? As far-fetched as it may sound, the White House might soon be forced by its own rules to examine the question.

On Nov.7, the day after President Barack Obama was re-elected, the White House’s website received a petition asking the administration to allow Louisiana to secede.
Hilarious to think that the nut jobs are so concerned about the re-election of President
Obama they have now swallowed the next play in the batshit crazy American  sulk book. It actually started out as a Democratic response to the election of Bush but the Republicans have taken it to a whole new level.

From Slate 2004

Even before Sen. John Kerry conceded defeat in the presidential election, some bitter blue-staters had begun joking about the possibility of seceding from red-state America. Which makes you wonder: Are there any provisions in U.S. law for a state to opt out of the Union?
No. But the legal situation wasn't always so clear cut. Before the Civil War, the legality of secession was an open question, and Southerners would frequently threaten that their states might ditch the fledgling nation. The legal argument, framed eloquently in the 1830 Senate debate between Daniel Webster and Robert Hayne, centered on the Constitution: Was it merely a treaty among the many states? Or was it the founding document of a singular country, a compact of the "people" cited in its opening clause? This legal argument, among other things, eventually begat the Civil War, and since it ended, scholars have agreed that the Constitution grants no right of secession.
Meanwhile, in Washington, Oregon, and British Columbia, there are groups that seek independence from the United States and Canada and hope to form the Republic of Cascadia.

You can find it here.

It even has a flag.

For the record.

Statistics of the Republic of Cascadia:

  • Name: The Republic of Cascadia (long form), Cascadia (short form)
  • Capital: Cascadia
  • Area: 855,762 sq km
  • Population: 14,220,981 (2005 est)
  • GDP: US$323 billion (1996 est)
  • Language: Cascadese (a dialect of English)
  • Time System: Metric Time
The Republic of Cascadia stretches from 42° to 60° north latitude. Its western border consists of the Pacific coast and a portion of the American state of Alaska. On the east, it borders the American states of Idaho and Montana and the Canadian province of Alberta. Cascadia is divided into three prefectures: British Columbia, Oregon, and Washington.


Cascadia is a constitutional republic that guarantees its citizens their basic rights, including freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the right to a fair trial with a jury of peers. It has a strong democratic tradition and universal suffrage. The seat of the national government is in the capital city of Cascadia, which is tucked safely away from centers of urban decadence.


Cascadia has abundant natural resources. Vast forests provide it with ample timber for both export and domestic use. Rich fish and shellfish stocks also supply valuable exports as well as powerful brain-food for its citizens. Raging rivers and vulcanism offer cheap and renewable forms of hydrodynamic and geothermal power generation. Its many harbors and protected waterways give Cascadia an edge when it comes to trans-Pacific shipping.
Its natural resources are exceeded only by its industrial resources. The Cascadian software and biotechnology industries lead the world in innovation and market-share dominance. Cascadian-produced software is on 97% of the world's computers, and that figure will continue to rise. (Although it has not yet achieved sheep-cloning technology, it is close -- watch out Scotland!) The Republic of Cascadia is a nuclear power with the ability to process weapons-grade plutonium and also advanced missile technology. Cascadia has the facilities and technical expertise to produce a wide range of fighter, support, and commercial aircraft, as well as space vehicles. Besides being a global leader in vehicle technology, Cascadian industry is also developing sea-based launch capabilities for orbital payload delivery and possible lunar conquests.
But why conquer the moon when you can win the stars? The Republic of Cascadia has long been sought by movie and TV producers for use in location shooting -- and even production work -- because of its scenic beauty; commercially popular image; and cheap, non-union labor. This is just a part of Cascadia's plan to become a global media powerhouse, the likes of which Hollywood couldn't imagine. Cascadia has a proven track-record in producing trends in music, fashion, food, and other forms of product consumption, which it can profit from by building on its brand recognition and loyalty. Furthermore, with its space program providing satellite technology and its software industry providing cutting-edge Internet technology, Cascadia is poised to control the means of infotainment distribution -- and thereby consumer demand -- on a global scale.
The Republic of Cascadia is not yet officially recognized by Canada, the United States of America, or the United Nations. Not that it is any of their business.

If you are going to take the piss do it well.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the fun and humorous article, and thank you for mentioning Cascadia.

    Just a few minor details is that the information you've pulled is actually from a satirical joke site from maybe the late 1990's.

    For further information regarding Cascadian Independence, I would look at the site or the wikipedia article on the subject at:

    Also, the accepted flag for the Cascadia movement is the Cascadian Doug Flag.