Sunday, December 11, 2011

The English mob arrive

My sister and cousin or rather my cousins daughter so that will make her  a cousin of I think some other type of cousin I am guessing ( a second cousin ?), arrived with two of my nephews and a niece. I hate to think what my cell phone bill will be. Left work to meet them and the texts started arriving on at regular intervals I was able to read a couple at red lights, the first was from  my brother in law bitching about the weather in London, he can't get away from work yet and obviously wife and kids having a great time in the NZ summer was starting to weigh upon him. I had a certain degree of sympathy given it is a shitty horrible day in Auckland.

At the next red light I discovered he was tracking the flight and they were at 37,000 feet and travelling at 497 knots that was comforting because I was still in Pakaranga at this point. By about Mt. Wellington and another red light I discovered that the plane was,

"Really spooky-I can see it descending rapidly now. Down to 32,000 now."

OK I have my timing fairly good I am thinking and the phone goes quite until I get onto the ( south eastern I think it is called ) motorway to the airport, the phone goes but this time it is a call at the next red light I look at who my missed call was from and discover it is Private Number. That is usually Mum so after I park at the domestic terminal and start my walk to the international terminal I ring her at this point I discover a  feature on my cell phone, call waiting. I can't call Mum until I deal with call waiting in fact I can't do anything at all but deal with call waiting and I haven't a clue how to deal with call waiting.

As I walk through a bed of freshly sown beautifully raked  bed of grass talking to my cell phone begging it to give me that clue I glance up and see a guy  looking at me like I am a moron I think he was  trying to tell me what to do because it came to me take the bloody battery out.

" Yeah did you just ring me Mum ?"

I say, having really got on top of technology. I am told yes take your sister, cousin and kids  to domestic and check there luggage there. Apparently an earlier flight to the deep south is available but I  say you should be able to do that at the International terminal. That provokes debate between parents and I accidentally on purpose cut them off  and sit down to light a cigarette. I ring back and the consensus is I am right.

I can now, as I wait for them to emerge from immigration reply to  sisters husband, and do I tell him the plane has landed  and he responds that he can see that, the brain starts working and I remember he is tracking the plane in real time with some sort of  technology I have yet to discover I look at my cell phone and realise if it didn't have a fold out key board I would be lost and I forgive the cell phone, I know how to take out its battery.
They arrive I hug sister and cousin and get tackled by nephews who for some reason think the English are the greatest rugby nation in the world, the boys  figure that they aren't big enough yet to drop me and a re-education programme will be put in place soon. I fully expect them to be tackling their father from New Year on. I gather my  father  started this process tonight.

Today was a great day, a sister, a cousin  and three of my six kid's, I just need, another sister  another 3 kids  two brother in laws and  my brother in law's brother Rupert my parents and it will be great. To be perfect I would need Jim an Liz

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