Malawi Sex Scandal. Miss Matofotofo- Pants down and doggie style sex.

Nyasa Times reports

Sex-scandal: Miss Matofotofo caught pants down

Newly crowned Miss True African Beauty  for Lilongwe (formely  Miss Matofotofo), Florence Banda, has shamed the pageant with her scandalous affair after being caught pants down having amazing sex with a married man, Nyasa Times can reveal.

Amazing sex ! Well I guess it is better than being caught having unamazing sex or worse masturbating.

Banda has been having a secret affair with a married man Joel Phiri who are both employees of Mota Engil. Banda works secretary to the Board Director for Africa .

The two were caught by the wife of the husband at the Miss Matofoto’s house in Area 18 on Sunday afternoon.

Her neighbours are said to have reported to Phiri’s wife, who also reside in the same location, about the secret love affair.

Whoops. Area 18 looks to be a reasonable size, but  perhaps a bit more discretion was needed.

On Sunday the man packed ( Parked ) his car at the Biggie’s queen  house and went in to have “a quickie”.

I am all for quickies but do they qualify  as amazing sex ?

Apparently the neighbours alerted the wife who came and found them in the act.  The wife also did a paparazzi by capturing them on camera “having it on”.

Ouch.

“They were caught having doggie style sex. They are a laughing stock of the neighbourhood,” a resident of Area 18 told Nyasa Times.

Why ? 

The organiser of the event this year, who also was the first to be crowned Miss Matofoto, the name sake of the scandalous reigning queen, said she risks being stripped of her title.

Stripped seems an appropriate description .

Florence Banda, the organiser who is married lady and works for Zodiak Broadcasting Services, said the incident has left her “devastated”.
She said the pageant’s disciplinary committee would quiz the Miss Matofotofo and give her “the right to be heard” but said an appropriate action will have to be taken such as to relieve of her crown and possibly made her to return prizes.

“We will go by the rules,” said the organiser, stressing that she will not let the pageant be put into disrepute.

OK so we now have two Florence Banda's but it is hard to know what rule has been broken the nature of this competition is to highlight real women with normal bodies of any age. They aren't expected to be 18 year old virgins. Contestant Banda is 34 with a couple of kids.

She conceded that the pageant has been left with a public relations dilemma over the scandal.

The cheating husband denied the story: “I was not caught having sex. This is an attempt to tarnish my image and that of my family. This lady is a workmate so I went to her house to borrow a phone charger, that’s the truth. I did not have sex with her.”

Shades of Bill Clinton but more imaginative.

In an exclusive interview posted on Nyasa Times after being crowned, Banda, 34 said she was single “but I have two children.”

So in fact she has done nothing maritally wrong. Well other than bending over to retrieve a cell phone charger.

Miss True African Queen (Matofotofo)  is a contest for women who wear size 40 and above, with no restrictions on age, height and marital status. Matofotofo means big and fluffy in the Ndebele language.

The founders of the pageant say their idea is to reclaim the true meaning of beauty from an African perspective.

The cheating husband clearly claimed some African booty  beauty.

Zodiak Malawi reports

A cream of 15 big and fluffy local beauties from the Central region has been selected to battle it out in a contest for the regional True African Queen Matofotofo October 28.

Clearly last years scandal hasn't prevented the events viability.

The 15 emerged cream from a troop of over 40 big, fluffy, African ladies in different heights and breaths who thronged the Capital Hotel Saturday on Saturday October 15.

“These were all high quality women of different backgrounds. True African women proud of how they were created, their looks and sizes.

Wish I had been there. Missed a potential quickie. Or amazing sex, guess it depends on the perspective.

“Some of those that have been picked have masters degrees and other high educational qualifications,” says organizer of the regional pageant Mrs. Florence Banda.

At the central region competition October 28, Mrs. Banda, who is the reigning Miss. Matofotofo Lilongwe is going to hand over the mantle to the winner of the pageant.

Looks like having your pants down and having amazing sex is quite OK  so a sensible decision was made.

“We are inviting as many people as possible to come. This is going to be different from all previous competitions.

“We have added flavor to the event. We are making it more Malawian now that we are organizing it locally,” says Mrs. Banda.

More Malawian ? Sounds interesting.

The event will be held at Sunbird capital where entrants are expected to part with K2,000.00 at the door, however, buying tickets in advance saves you a K500.

About $7.00 NZ

Access to tickets can be had at Sunbird Capital Hotel, Platinum Aura saloon, Area 18 BP Filling Station, Bwandiro Filling Station and Maula BP Filling Station.

Novel idea marketing it through petrol stations. Sounds like a great weekend in Malawi.

Racist, Sexist, Stupid - Republican

From Stuff

Donald Trump wants to make a deal with President Barack Obama.

If Obama releases his college and passport records by the end of October, the New York real estate mogul and reality show host says he will contribute US$5 million (NZ$6.09m) to a charity of the president's choice.

Trump made the offer early today (NZ time) in a video posted to his Twitter account. He called Obama "the least transparent president in the history of this country," and said that by taking the deal Obama would satisfy voters' questions about his past.

Trump drew broad publicity last year for questioning whether Obama was born in the US and eligible to be president. Obama later released his long-form birth certificate showing that he was born in Hawaii in 1961.

More from Stuff 

Indiana Republican Senate candidate Richard Mourdock is standing by his statement that when a woman becomes pregnant during a rape "that's something God intended..... - a day after a television ad featuring the former Massachusetts governor supporting the GOP Senate candidate began airing in Indiana" 

"I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realise that life is that gift from God. And, I think, even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen," 

From Balloon 

" The Funniest Thing I Heard Post Debate

By John Cole October 23rd, 2012

Was sitting here with my friend and said “Let’s check out the hive mind.” So we switched to Fox, and caught Sean Hannity talking to Ed Gillespie, and Hannity was apparently doing push back on the devastating Obama zinger about horses and bayonets, and said, and I am not fucking making this up:

“Some of our troops rode horses in Afghanistan and the Marines still carry bayonets. Maybe someone should tell the President how the military actually works.”

Yes, Petunia. A couple hundred special forces guys rode horses in Afghanistan, basically because you can’t take an M1A2 or Hummer up the Khyber pass. Likewise, the Marines do still do carry bayonets (as does the Army!), but I don’t recall the last bayonet charge. The number of combat troops carrying bayonets is a small fraction than the 3.5 million grunts we had in WW1 wearing pith helmets and dying in bayonet charges and mustard gas. Likewise, there were tens of thousands of horses in WW1 in combat, there were a few in Afhanistan.

These people are just insane."

From Pine View

Pretty much every intolerant asshole in the country has moved to the Republican Party, if they weren’t already there. The only exceptions are a few holier-than-thou progressives who can’t enjoy one moment of life if even one person is going hungry.

With that lone exception, all the prudes and bigots and tsk-tskers and money-grubbers and polluters and religious freaks and misogynists and fraudsters and warmongers have aligned with the conservative movement.

Yankee Republicanism is dead. All we have is the reactionary right aligned with a bunch a greedheads. You won’t find an inch of daylight between Pat Robertson and Mitt Romney or Mitt Romney and Paul Wolfowitz or Grover Norquist and Mitt Romney. We have the worst of all worlds.

From Peking Duck

" Robbing from the poor to give to the rich. That about sums them up.

I’ve refrained from posting on US politics because it is simply too depressing. Watching nutty conservatives transform the once sane if misguided Republican Party into an Ayn Rand-worshipping club of ueber-rich white men — and seeing so many Americans get on board donning their Tea Part costumes — has been a jaw-dropping spectacle."

From No Minister A New Zealand blog proving that racist and stupid are not exclusively American and right wing insanity is universal.

I wonder how many black Americans with no jobs, no incomes, no homes, no food and no hope might reflect that their forbears were immensely better off.  They had jobs, for a start.  They had homes, they had food.  While they didn't have 'freedom' as we know it, it's fair to say most American slave owners treated their people reasonably.

Bein' back on de plantation in good old Virginny might be a damned sight better than some drug ridden hell hole in back street Chicago.

I rest my case.

Uganda. Jailed for performing a play

The BBC reports 

Uganda charges British producer David Cecil over gay play

                                           David Cecil face a two-year jail sentence if convicted

The authorities in Uganda have charged a British theatre producer, David Cecil, for staging a play about the condition of gay people in the country.

He appeared in court accused of "disobeying lawful orders", because the play The River and the Mountain was performed without authorisation.

Not so much disobeying lawful orders you sort of need to have orders if you are going to disobey them.

" Yet Uganda will receive £101.5 million of British aid this year, with £22.5 million going straight into government coffers, albeit reserved for health, education and administrative improvement."

Mr Cecil was denied bail. He faces two years in jail if convicted.

Hmm. Well justice is supposed to be blind but lets face it, it isn't meant to be bat shit crazy. 

The Ugandan parliament is considering legislation aimed at increasing penalties for homosexual acts.

The play - the main character of which is a gay businessman killed by his own employees - was performed at two theatres in the Ugandan capital, Kampala, last month.

I assume murder is illegal in Uganda you could almost, not quite but almost, understand it if he was being jailed for a play about murder. Or is it legal to murder gay people in Uganda?

Homosexual acts are illegal in Uganda and gay people have faced physical attacks and social rejection.

FFS it is 2012 not 1912 Uganda needs to realise that being gay is considered to be perfectly normal in most of the world. I am confident New Zealand has matured enough to pass a bill in the near future legalising gay marriage.

An anti-gay bill imposing life sentences on those convicted of homosexual acts was re-tabled in parliament earlier this year.

It was first introduced in 2009 but never debated - and the MP backing the legislation says a clause proposing the death penalty will be dropped.

Uganda you have far more important issues facing you than this. Accepting same sex relationships  is just one part of the rich tapestry that makes us human. Drop the bill from the parliamentary order paper. Even better replace it with legislation allowing same sex marriage.

Ghosts in Christchurch

From the Christchurch Press

" The tenants of a Christchurch home where three members of a family died have called in paranormal investigators.

The family of six moved into the house in January, and say coffee tables have moved, wardrobe doors slam by themselves, the shower turns on and off, they hear footsteps on the stairs, and the children have seen "apparitions".In May 2010, a mother and her two teenage daughters were found dead in the two-storey Avonhead house. Four days later, the father was found dead in his car nearby.

The new tenants took over the five-bedroom house this year and were a "little nervous" when the real estate agent told them what had happened. Now they say "strange things" started happening from day one."

I am guessing that it was a slow news day.

" The 41-year-old father of the household, who did not want to be named, said he was not a strong believer in the supernatural but things were happening that they couldn't explain. "We're not drug- addicted hippies who hang wind chimes from the trees, we're an average, normal family. But all six of us, and even the dog, have been picking up weird things."

Despite trying to "keep the children out of it", he said his five- year-old daughter had been seen talking to herself in the mirror and later came downstairs and said she had been speaking to a "little girl".

So a little girl looks in the mirror and sees a little girl.

" The family had heard furniture moving in the lounge in the night, experienced "horrible sulphur smells that burned your eyes" in the bathroom, seen the bulbs blow continually in certain rooms, and heard the dog growling at nothing.

Not wanting to move but not knowing what to do or if "our minds were playing tricks on us", the family had the house "cleansed" by a priest, and called in Christchurch Paranormal Investigators.

After a "full investigation" in March, principal investigator Anton Heyrick said he found "compelling evidence of paranormal activity".

Lets remember Christchurch was devastated by an earthquake not so long ago.

" When the family went away for a weekend, the team set up video and sound recorders in every room, and brought in thermal and infra-red cameras and other equipment. "We are 95 per cent sure there is paranormal activity here - that means we can't explain the things that are happening or what we are hearing."

The ghost-hunting group filmed its examinations and interviews with the family, and plans to release a documentary next year.

New Zealand Skeptics spokeswoman Vicki Hyde was concerned that the documentary might resemble a "B-grade special effects horror movie".

Wouldn't it be great to hear a paranormal investigation fraudster announce they were 95% sure no paranormal activity was happening. 

"There have been so many ghost investigations, none of which have ever come up with anything. We should be treating these things as light entertainment, but the problem is people can be vulnerable to these stories."

Hyde said she would be interested to see the documentary, but raised concerns over whether the family would be exploited.

The father conceded bulbs blowing might be faulty wiring, bad smells could be from a burst pipe, and his five-year-old daughter might have a "wild imagination", but said he was not trying to "convert" anyone."

I give up.

"The house may or may not have electrical issues, and people are going to believe what they want to. But if there is such a thing as spirits, and they happen to be here, then that's fine. We're happy for them to open wardrobe doors and run up and down the stairs - we just don't want it turning malicious. To be honest, I've started to get used to it."

" A coroner's inquest into the deaths is yet to be scheduled."

Lets remember a human tragedy has played out here. Yet here we are like voyeurs, my thoughts go out to any surviving family members.

Hat Tip Imperatorfish