Swaziland:Witchcraft and More. Wikileaks needs to do better.

All Africa reports

Swaziland: US Cable Says Swazi King 'Imbalanced'

Prince Charles, Prince of Wales and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall greet King Mswati III of Swaziland and wife Inkhosikati LaMbikiza of Swaziland

Probably not the way I would have captioned the above photograph. I have a great deal of sympathy for the inhabitants of Swaziland... that sympathy is some what tempered by the realisation that I might soon be in the same boat as them. Trust me when I say " Long Live The Queen " I mean it.   

The US Embassy in Swaziland said King Mswati III was 'not intellectually well developed' and 'is not a reader'. It also called him 'imbalanced'.

The comments about the Swazi King came from Earl Irvine in February 2010, when he was the US Ambassador to Swaziland.

In a confidential cable to Washington released by Wikileaks, Irvine said King Mswati, sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch, had a 'lack of wisdom'.

My forays into the politics of Swaziland are usually brought about by my love of the absurd. Swaziland is perhaps after North Korea the most absurd place in the world and a hell of a lot less dangerous in an international context. That Mswati is lacking in wisdom should come as no surprise, in many ways I am surprised Wikileaks even bothered to release this.    

Quoting an informant, Irvine wrote the king was 'not a reader, and would not review documents left for him. [The informant] called the king 'not intellectually well-developed,' and contrasted his poor educational background with his father Sobhuza II, who was educated at Lovedale College in South Africa alongside future leaders of South Africa's African National Congress (ANC).

He is a fucking fool. What sort of idiot comes up with a plan to build an international airport 70 km from anywhere. It would be funny except it cost $250 million and Swaziland is a desperately poor nation.

" King Mswati III of Swaziland has so little faith in the new international airport that has his name that he does not use it. Instead, he travels in his private jet from Matsapha, the airport that closed to make way for the King Mswati III International Airport (KM111) that was built in a wilderness about 70 km from any major town."

Irvine wrote, 'Essentially a bastard outsider to the royal family, King Mswati III was plucked from relative obscurity when members of the royal family could not come to an agreement on a successor to King Sobhuza II.

I am not criticising  Irvine, I just wish he had tried to convey less meaning and left it at " Essentially a bastard.."

'After Mswati III was selected to be the next king, a posthumous marriage of Sobhuza II to Ntombi [the Queen Mother] was quickly arranged, according to our interlocutor.'

I hope King Sobhuza II was not subjected to the physical aspects of consummation also without his consent.

Irvine wrote, 'Unlike in his early years, the king now identifies and pushes specific projects, and will look to replace ministers or employees who are unable to provide progress on those projects.'

And the people of Swaziland have an international airport in the middle of nowhere. Seriously you couldn't make this shit up nobody would believe you.  

Irvine quoted his informant calling King Mswati 'imbalanced'. He gave an anecdote to illustrate this. 'The king, [the informant] said, invited about 40 officials and advisors to a basement in one of his palaces, where they all sat on the floor to attend to him. King Mswati III turned up the heater, which warmed the floor first, until the temperature in the room reached about 40 degrees Celsius, and told inconsequential stories to those gathered while they sweated, merely to show them he was in power.'

"...merely to show them he was in power.'  " ? I suspect this is wrong. He was more likely trying to impress them with the fact he had power. This act was probably a generous sharing of electricity. One should always keep an open mind. 

Irvine also reported that the king's mother had a sexual affair with Lutfo Dlamini, Swaziland's former Foreign Minister.

Well good on her. For " fucks " sake they made her marry the corpse of King Sobhuza II. 

And the Queen Mother Ntombi's 'associations with men' had undermined the power she had to influence King Mswati's decision-making.

                                                          Queen Mother Ntombi of Swaziland

Just let her have sex with who she wants to have sex with. It isn't anyones business but hers.

Irvine called the cable he wrote to Washington 'Witchcraft and More: A Portrait of Influences on King Mswati III'.

In the cable Irvine said, 'traditional leaders, superstition, and members of the royal family' were the major influences on the king. His ministers, however, 'remain his servants'.

Well I do think regicide has its place.

Irvine wrote, 'The king's wives' opinions matter to the king, especially his third wife, LaMbikisa, who has an advanced degree and is the only wife to whom the king proposed.'

                                                      LaMbikisa

She is beautiful. She is probably very smart. Irvine should  have come up with a way to put her in charge of Swaziland and then we might actually have seen some improvements.

Irvine goes on, 'King Mswati III believes in muti (traditional medicine used to cast spells or curses), and attempts to use muti to attack the king are taken seriously'.

He wrote, 'In 1989 Prince Mfana Sibili was accused of high treason when he allegedly used muti to try to take away the king's powers. When a foreign judge, brought in to hear the case, dismissed it after hearing the charges, a traditional court was installed to convict the prince.'

He said that 'muti people' hold great sway within the royal family, and that the king must eat and drink whatever they give him during traditional ceremonies, particularly when in seclusion. 'If they are unhappy with the direction the king is taking the country, then the king has cause to worry.'

Insanity ? Kill the bastard now. The rest of this story is more insanity.  Trust me you won't believe it.

Irvine went on 'Although Queen Mother Ntombi is considered by many observers to be a powerful figure within the royal family, [name of informant] indicated that her authority has been undermined by her "associations with men," including the then Foreign Minister Lutfo Dlamini.

Irvine wrote, 'Mswati III uses the investment company African Alliance to move his money around internationally.'

The informant indicated that 'the king has become more decisive during his years in office, especially where his interests are at issue, and he views ministers and officials who tell him he cannot do something as cowards'.

Swazi Prime Minister Barnabas Dlamini is the king's loyal 'hangman,' Irvine wrote, an assertion that suggests that the king placed absolute trust in Barnabas.

'Instead of looking to influence the king, the Prime Minister acts as the king's steadfast servant, a relationship that dates back to a suicide attempt by Barnabas in 1990 or 1991.

'According to [informants] in an unsuccessful attempt kept secret from the public, Barnabas tried to commit suicide after his involvement in a corruption scandal during his tenure as Minister of Finance became known.

'As part of making amends to the king, Barnabas reportedly prostrated himself before the king, giving himself over as the king's servant.'

Swaziland: King Mswati III takes editorial control.

Swazi Media Commentary blog reports on a bizarre situation developing in the Pornocracy of Swaziland to steal Alex's term. I myself have been astonished by the actions of the King of the Pornocracy going so far as to suggest regicide as a solution.

A row is brewing between media houses in Swaziland and the Swazi Observer newspaper group, which is in effect owned by King Mswati III. Last Friday (11 January 2013), Observer managing director Alpheous Nxumalo wrote in his own newspaper accusing Swazi media of undermining traditional authorities in Swaziland and by extension the king himself.

Delighted to hear that the Swazi independent media think the King is a total cock.  

The Media Institute of Southern Africa, Swaziland chapter, has already issued a statement demanding that Nxumalo gives evidence to back his accusations.

Now it has written to S’thofeni Ginindza, Chairman of the Observer Group of Newspapers (below) demanding a written letter with answers from Nxumalo or failing that ‘we demand an apology within 14 days’.

It gets better.

Dear Sir

RE: MANAGING DIRECTOR’S COLUMN ARTICLE – I SUBMIT

As a media freedom watchdog organisation, the Media Institute of Southern Africa (MISA)–Swaziland Chapter registers its grave concerns at the following serious allegations made by Mr. Alpheous Nxumalo, as Managing Director of Swazi Observer, in his column titled The Diplomat on Friday last week:

• I also agree with the observation that the media in Swaziland may be and is being turned into an object for donors, activist and NGOs, who seem to have a voice and right to vent their rage and intimidation.

• The media has been used as lillipads to attack the government and other subordinate institutions with impunities. This has all been done in the name of freedom of the press. 

• I submit that media freedom should not be an instrument for subversive manipulation of society. The freedom of the media should not be an instrument for unleashing insults and disrespect but to educate/inform the public while promoting mutual respect and mutual responsibility. It should not be an instrument to undermine legitimately constituted authority.  

• I submit today that as a Swazi patriot, I will not submit to those brutal and heartless cabals, who subvert the national institutions such as the monarchy and the government in order to advance the agenda of radicalising the Swazi nation against bukhosi nahulumende weMaSwati.  

• I agree with F.W. de Klerk that all revolutionary forces sought to overthrow incumbent Governments by mobilising the masses, by making countries ungovernable, by fermenting strikes, by involving churches, trade unions and civil society in their campaigns; by using propaganda to destroy the image and undermine the confidence of governments; by eliminating opposition through the use of terrorism and intimidation and by applying underhand and dirty political tactics to distract their perceived enemies. 

•  All these are perpetrated through the media and other avenues. 

• Media freedoms without media responsibilities are media witchcraft (butsakatsi). 

• These pawns destroy the infrastructures, bomb bridges and government institutions, maliciously damage property, insult the Monarchy, vilify the national flag and intimidate political figures and even violently attack their homes with petrol bombs. Violence will never democratise Swaziland. Insulting the monarchy and radicalising the Swazi nation against the institutions of the Monarchy, will never Democratise Swaziland.

• Some of us are better off sitted at home than being ‘pawns’ or ‘political zombies’ through which certain political forces and elements serve their compromised and perverted mandates.

Very hard to keep a straight face when reading the reported rants of Mr. Alpheous Nxumalo. The argument for regicide grows stronger.